Better for Being Broken Dharma Talk

Video of the Better for Being Broken Dharma Talk

This is the third talk of the Awakened Heart Series.


The poet, teacher and lawyer John Sean Doyle had this to say about Kintsukuroi,

“In Japan there is an art form called kintsukuroi which means “to repair with gold”. When a ceramic pot or bowl would break, the artisan would put the pieces together again using gold or silver lacquer to create something stronger, more beautiful than it was before.

The breaking isn’t something to hide. It doesn’t mean that the ceramic bowl is ruined or without value because it’s different then what was planned.

Kintsukuroi is a way of living that embraces every flaw and imperfection. Every crack is part of the history of the object and it becomes more beautiful, precisely because it had been broken.

People are the same way.”

I’m Like One of Those Japanese Bowls

“I’m like one of those Japanese bowls
That were made long ago
I have some cracks in me
They have been filled with gold

That’s what they used back then
When they had a bowl to mend
It did not hide the cracks
It made them shine instead

So now every old scar shows
From every time I broke
And anyone’s eyes can see
I’m not what I used to be

But in a collector’s mind
All of these jagged lines
Make me more beautiful
And worth a much higher price

I’m like one of those Japanese bowls
I was made long ago
I have some cracks you can see
See how they shine of gold.
― Peter Mayer

To Live in This World

To live in this world means many things
And one of those things is that we shall be wounded
and we shall wound
We will be hurt by others
and we will hurt others
You will not get through this life without being scarred in some way
and without scarring others

Forget Your Perfect Offering
Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.
~ Leonard Cohen

The Gift and Power of Emotional Courage – Psychologist Susan David Ted Talk

Being positive has become a new form of moral correctness.

In a survey I recently conducted with over 70,000 people I found that a third of us, a third, either judge ourselves for having so-called bad emotions like sadness, anger or even grief or actively try to push aside these feelings.

We do this not only to ourselves but also to people we love like our children. We may inadvertently shame them out of emotions seen as negative jump to solutions and fail to help them to see these emotions as inherently valuable.

Normal, natural emotions are now seen as good or bad but when we push aside normal emotions to embrace false positivity we lose our capacity to develop skills to deal with the world as it is not as we wish it to be.

I’ve had hundreds of people tell me what they don’t want to feel. They say things like I don’t want to try because I don’t want to feel disappointed or I just want this feeling to go away

I understand I say to them

But you have dead people’s goals.

Only dead people never get unwanted or inconvenienced by their feelings.

Only dead people never get stressed never get broken hearts never experience the disappointment that comes with failure. Tough emotions are part of our contract with life. You don’t get to have a meaningful career or raise a family or leave the world a better place without stress and discomfort  Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life.

“Write what you’re feeling. Write like no one is reading.”

To Be a Spiritual Warrior

To be a spiritual warrior,
one must have a broken heart;
without a broken heart
and the sense of tenderness and vulnerability
that is in one’s self and all others,
your warriorship is untrustworthy.
~ Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

The Gifts I Have Found

Wrapped in my weakness
I found my true strength.

Wrapped in my perceived flaws
I found my greatest beauty.

Wrapped in my fear
I found my unconquerable spirit.

Wrapped in my foolish moments
I found great wisdom.

Wrapped in my sorrow
I found the depth of my true joy.

I have found some of my most valuable gifts
Wrapped in adversity.
~ Jeannine Sanderson

Hold That Tender and Broken Heart Close by Ian Paul Marshall

Breathe my dear breathe
Hold that tender and broken heart close

Stop pushing away your pain
It’s actually a portal to your own potential
It may not seem like it now
When your heart feels like it’s been shattered into a million tiny pieces
And tears fill your eyes to blurring

Breathe my dear breathe
Hold that tender and broken heart close

You will be better for being broken
More beautiful from this burden you have beared
These wounds and their winding paths
Which seemingly have taken you far away from all that you love
Have actually brought you home

So breathe my dear breathe
Hold that tender and broken heart close

Because it’s the rarest of jewels
And soon you’ll reluctantly realize
That it’s preciousness and power can only be discovered
By opening up, letting go
And giving it away
Again and again

So breathe my dear breathe

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(Dana) Giving: The practice of giving is universally recognized as one of the most basic human virtues, a quality that testifies to the depth of one’s humanity and one’s capacity for self-transcendence. In the teaching of the Buddha, too, the practice of giving claims a place of special eminence, one which singles it out as being in a sense the foundation and seed of spiritual development.

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