Okay, any insights, revelations, challenges, frustrations since the last time I saw Everybody?
Student: I listened to the podcast from last week. So we spoke about giving it to Buddha…..Yeah, and I think for the first time, I actually did.
I felt great, and for the first time, I think since my teenage years, I slept for 10 hours. Wow. 10 hours….
My husband came up and shook me. I was just so relaxed, and just felt so unburdened about everything that was going on. It’s been, It was a crazy week. And so I did, and I knew that I really did it from my heart, with full intentions of wanting the help. And that’s how It surfaced by letting me relax. And I had a sound sleep.
Zen Master E:
Yeah, that’s amazing. There’s so much in the giving it to the Buddha, right, giving it to the teacher, giving it over to the Sangha, just opening up, right.
One is like, honest, you’re honest with yourself. There’s something going on here. That’s beyond my capacity, right? It takes some courage. Right,? To be sensitive to ourselves, Right?
And to realize that you need help.
I need help. Right?
Student: It was just too overwhelming.
Yeah, because we’ll get into a loop, right. Because we’ll try to solve our problems with our little mind, and our mind will usually create more problems or tell us 62 reasons why you can’t figure it out and look at your past behavior. How do you think you’re going to get this? That’s why you got in this in the first place.
And oh, my gosh, this petty tyrant, this small little mind of ours, right.
Okay, so when we give when we give it up to the Buddha, right?
Infinite wisdom, right? Universal wisdom. Right.
Way, way, way more capacity than us, right.
And in giving it up as well, – I’ve given up the fight too. I’m giving up the worry. I’m giving up the stress.
And I Trust, right? I trust.
Everything is always working for our benefit.
Right? It might not appear that way…
Right? When we’re right in the mess of it. Right, and it’s always with hindsight, right? That we’ll look back and be like, wow, that was probably the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. That illness, that accident that divorce that bankruptcy, whatever it is, right, especially if some of that brought you here to the Dharma. Right.
Thank you. Pain. Thank you problem.
And once you get here, (to the Sangha and experiencing the Dharma)
You’re like, this is different. Like the rules, not to say the rules don’t apply, but it’s a different set of rules now, right. It’s a different ballgame. Right? A different ballgame you went through, and we talked about refuge, right? People don’t understand going for refuge, but what you just did there, right that’s going for refuge, right.
I needed help, I needed safety.
I need, I need to put this heart somewhere.
That’s going to be safe.
From all of this that’s going on. I need to give up – give it over. Right.
Not to say that we’re not going to respond, but it helps us see better. Be more – I bet you were more stable the next day, right. Calm. At ease, right?
I like the Christian word, Grace, right, like a grace just starts to flow through you. And the crazy part is, is that this grace and this ease, you’ve been keeping that from yourself this whole time.
Student: It was always present.
Zen Master E: Yeah. It’s always there and available for us, right. So part of the thing is to notice when you’re bearing down on it, right. When you start to think you hear words like, “I can’t take it anymore!” You’re thinking words like, “I can’t do this anymore.” right, because in those times, both sentences started with what….”I”….
just give up the “I”.
Just give it all up.
I give this up to you Buddha. You’re wiser than me, more compassionate than me, more skilled than me. Everything.
And it helps us feel light again, Right?
To feel a lightness.
Because we’ve been burdened by whatever it is, right? There’s a burden that we’re holding, right, and we start to realize that we’re holding this, right, holding it, right.
Then it’s like this feedback loop, right, you have the feeling and the feeling right behind that is the thought and then the thought powers the feeling, right, and the feeling powers the thought and this loop, right?
Just this loop, Right?
So give it up to something even bigger.
Buddha has infinite space and time, Right?
A heart that holds the whole cosmos.
I’m pretty sure he can handle your problem, right.
Then in return, give you the wisdom and grace and insight and compassion and calm and stability and connections.
Because you’re stopping the fight.
To allow the flow, right.
To allow the flow of life.
Okay, Because a lot of the practice is to notice when we’re bearing down and being constrained, right, constricting ourselves, right.
This keeps opening it up – opening you up, right.
And a lot of people would think that’s like, that’s weakness, or it’s a cop out or something like this, right. Cowardice
It’s the smartest choice you can ever make
(Makes the sound of relief)
Now it’s gone.
Even though whatever it is, it’s still there but it’s not – like it’s weird, like it’s this weird dynamic, right?
So that when it arises, you’re no longer sucked into it, no longer hooked by it, no longer triggered by it, no longer feeling like you only have this pinprick of power to work through it.
Now it’s – the whole – the whole army of Buddha’s behind you, right. Or in front of you, right?
I started to do this practice now, where I surround myself – In front of me is the Buddha of immovability, behind me is the Buddha of compassion (discriminating wisdom), to my left is the Buddha of equality, to my right is the all accomplishing Buddha, and in the center, is Infinite compassionate awareness.
The five Buddha families, right five aspects of Buddha nature.
Not Ian as the Buddha of immovability, the Buddha of compassion.
But then that’s expressed through me and expressed through me more fully. Right? Through the sound of my voice through how my mannerisms, right.
The practice is about getting out of the way, right. And one of the biggest getting out of the ways is, just give it up to Buddha. right.
I need help, I need the wisdom and the insight, Right.
Because the practice as well helps you to see more, gets you more and more to the Buddha within, right.
We think right, even though we’ve given it up to the Buddha,
To the greater aspect of ourselves.
Because the wisdom will come through right there in that moment, right. It’s not like I’m calling you up with the insight and being like, “Hey, Sally I got the insight.” – maybe.
Right? This happens, I had a dream or this that, hey, how’s it going? I think feel something’s wrong.
We give it up.
Yeah, but not that we’re giving it up to get away. Like to run away. Right?
We want to be fully in it – even more so, Right. But to be in it, to not be tossed about by it. Right to not be ruled by it. Because we’re already whipped about by our karma, by our thoughts, by our emotions, by our wants by our don’t wants of all these things. And we see how much that sucks.
Student: It’s exhausting,
Zen Master E: It IS exhausting, Right? It’s exhausting being us, Right.
And in that moment, we give that up. I’m given up.
I give up this.
In that moment, we’re out of the way.
We’re able to put it down.
And it’s going to get taken care of – in a more compassionate, more wise and a more skillful way, right.
That Buddha energy starts to flow more and more, yeah, this is one of my main practices nowadays, right.
That’s why I say and I tell you, I’ve been talking to the Buddha or Padmasambhava, or my teacher, right, different teachers, right.
Or different aspects, Avalokitesvara. Your game is active compassion (referring to Avalokitesvara) , it’s like, you know, like that aspect of it. Oh, I need this right now. You know, Oh, look at this craziness. I need immovability right now, right? Because I feel like I’m being I’m gonna to be tossed off my throne here. Oh, I can feel pride coming up. I need to see equality – everything is just equal.
From a place that’s wiser than little….. little me.
I like the all accomplishing wisdom – I don’t have to worry about it. It’s all getting done. Okay.
And even like, see that, right. Ever notice yourself walking. After you set the intention of walking do you have to walk, Right? Just notice all these times when you just, you’re out of the way and it’s happening. So just let it happen from that place, right. Get used to being in that place – more and more and more, right.
That’s why we use that word, alot – savour, right. This feeling, this ease is this grace. To savour that because there’s going to be times when you believe that that’s not possible.
That’s not available.
It might take a breath or two. Or you may see Protibha smiling at you from across the way or something, right. And then you remember, oh, yeah, this is all a play.
Why am I taking it so serious.
Buddha – here – take it. (hands it over)
You take the ball run with it, Right? You got you like your star. What’s the football thing is or the runner guy running back, Give him the ball.
He’s gonna score.
When we’re out of the way – because we go into situations as well, right now a lot of the stress that we cause ourselves is because we go into this into a situation thinking that we need to think our way through it right?
Or have the right answer. Right?
Or have it unfold in the right, quote unquote, way.
No. Life is continually arising. Right? And when we get out of the way, then we’re able to respond to life. From The Buddha place of us. And in that place. It’s easy – because it’s natural. You’re responding to yourself
On this practice of giving it up.
And even in that moment, you give up your hopes of what you want the situation to be right. You give up. Just give up everything. Right? Because you’ve been carrying it around for so long. Right? And then like, once the small mind gets it too, it’s going to make it worse.
And in that small mind, that small mind always wants to judge and be right. Right. And win – even when you’re wrong. Right.
When we give it up. Yeah – that was terrible.
Even today, like something came out of my mouth. Like I was really happy about, like somebody like, that isn’t normally on the floor helping. I was like, “Oh my god, are you going to be helpful today?” And It sounds terrible, right?
And right when it came out of my mouth, I was like, “Oh my god, that is not..”
And Luckily, like people know me, right? And they know I wouldn’t mean it like that, like, “Oh, you’re gonna be helpful today.”
No, but I was like, oh, because I was so excited. Like, because they are so amazing. And I was like, Oh my gosh, I get the opportunity for them to be here with me and be helpful with me. Right.
And like we talked about – remember sincerity, that sincerity of heart, Right.
And like I made sure I was like, oh my god like it. I could see it in an instant. Like, in a certain way. It could have been taken terribly. Right. And whoa! Like I was like, Whoa, right? And even like, look at the body movement down. Whoa, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, gosh. No, I’m so happy and thankful that you’re here. And I don’t want – I want to make sure that in no way that was taken in the wrong way. And if you did, oh my gosh, please. I’m sorry.
Then it’s easy to apologize.
Even see that, even how the body (responds). Whoa, I’m sorry. Whoa, It’s easy. There’s nothing to prove. I got no, there’s no nothing here to build up – that has to be right.
I’ve given that up.
Thrown it away.
It’s just a puff of smoke anyways.
That we cling to.
Every day I do I do prostrations every day.
And my final prostration is I give it up, I give up everything and my whole life.
My whole life I give to the Buddha.
I give to the Dharma. I give to the lineage. I give to all sentient beings throughout time. And what happens is, it’s it’s interesting. So I’m like, I’m down on the floor full out. And It’s like, the Buddha grabs me by the base of the spine. And like picks me picks me up that way. And then I’m like a bell that he rings to awaken all beings.
That make sense, that visual?
My life is not my own. I give you everything. Give it all. I don’t care.
Anytime that I was trying to direct my life – it went to shit.
Here, take the wheel, Right?
it’s clear – my life is clear.
To benefit and save all beings. Simple. I don’t know what that’s gonna look like. What that’s gonna sound like.
I don’t know. I don’t need to know.
I just need to be wherever I am. Fully. Heart open. Clear.
Simple. But No, oh, it only has to make sure that the person has to be kind and no, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It has to be only on Wednesday night. Doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Everywhere I am. Anywhere I am. Washing my hands in the men’s washroom. Dharma time now? Great. Let’s do this. At the ready, everywhere.
The giving it up – giving it over to the Buddha – you do that more and more and more and everywhere, right? Because you’re giving up your fixed notions or false sense of beliefs, everything like this. So that you’re free.
You felt free, didn’t you?
Student: Nods in enthusiastic agreement.
To be unburdened and that’s the practice too. To be unburdened from ourselves. To see how much pain we cause ourselves. The stories that we tell each other – tell ourselves on a constant Yeah.
Good for you.
Student: Thank you. Really Thank you.
Zen Master E: Thank Buddha.
Yeah, I just like give you that, “This is what I’m doing!”
Right. Giving it up. Yeah. Like that story (Where Ian called the Buddha because he was burdened by something and the Buddha came before him – tapped Ian’s heart and said, “Give me that.”
Okay, wanna meditate some more?